Grant me the desires of YOUR Heart

I am in awe of Jesus daily, my life was in such disarray  trying to keep up with the lives of others, asking God for things instead of asking Him MY PURPOSE. But  I'm so thankful that  because He is who His, He "still" grants us the desires of "our" hearts, even when our desires are not what He wants for us.

What do we do when God grants us the desires of "others"? Sometimes we exceed in it but we're not happy doing it, then other times we fail at it and wonder why. 
Usually because it was never ours in the first place. It was someone else's, goals, desire, dream, career, marriage, or blessing from God, and we were too caught up in wanting  "theirs" to ask Him  for our own blessing.
Wanting a great life, a throbbing career, healthy;happy kids, a nice home, a fancy car, a committed spouse are all great things, that God genuinely wants to give us, but at what expense do we want them? For what purpose?

In 1 Chronicles, Jabez prays a prayer and ask God not just to bless Him, but that He would "bless Him indeed" ( meaning bless Him a lot).
God wants to give us these types of blessings, but not for the self righteous purposes, that we use them for. He wants to bless your business, " if you're doing business God's way"; God wants to enlarge your territory, not just giving you a new house to lounge in and gloat about, but a new home to open up to those in need, a home that is inviting and used for His glory.
If we want to be promoted or in charge on our jobs so that we can be more controlling and insensitive of other people, what's the point of Him blessing that?

Your job; your business are the territories God has entrusted in you as a significant opportunity to touch individual lives, and the people you come in contact with for His glory.
If you want God's blessings on your life, use your blessings to be an influence on your job, in your home,  and with your friends. You don't have to preach and teach everywhere you go, just be the "LIGHT". Be the difference God intended you to be.
I don't just want a large home, a higher position, best friends, a good spouse & great kids; I want more INFLUENCE, more RESPONSIBILITY, more OPPORTUNITY, to make a mark for God.
You can't ask for God's best, but use them for satan' glory.
God wants to know that when He blesses you, those blessings  will be used for HIS glory, and HIS alone.

"When you are moving in God's direction, you start praying for God's desires and His perfect will for your life"

#God grant me the desires of YOUR heart#

Judgment OR Conviction

Webster refers to the term judgment as “forming an opinion based on ideas in your own mind.” In other words judging is when an opinion is formed concerning the rightness of an act or character of a person. I used to be one of those people who believed that every time I felt uneasy, constrained or discomfort from a Christian speaking boldly, that they were fake and judgmental. What I have since learned is that one person’s judgment can truly be God’s conviction.

Unlike judgment, conviction has a much different perspective; conviction is when we are convinced of our own sin or wrong behavior.In other words it is a convinced conscience about something we are doing, not doing or should be doing. There is a big difference between the feeling of being judged and experiencing a true biblical conviction. I have heard Christians in my life talk about things that made me cringe and upset my stomach as I thought to myself “who do they think they are?” or “he/she can’t be talking to me”. I would listen to people quote scriptures, and use tones that I thought were clearly directed from a self-centered tone and used only to judge others.

Recently while listening to a message I could clearly feel the message pointing at me but in my spirit I sat in denial thinking “this can’t be about me.” As I begin to evaluate the meaning in the message,God started revealing areas in my life that needed change. You see that’s the beauty of conviction and the difference between conviction and judgment. When God sends people to teach or speak on His behalf, many times those people have no idea of the background and lives of the people they are speaking and so it’s not that they are judging you but just speaking God’s truths. I had to come to a point in my life where I stopped accusing people of pointing out my faults and recognized God addressing the things that I needed to change.

Face book is a good example of this because it’s a place where everyone thinks/believes that a person’s status is about them and where people get upset and assume things that most often have nothing to do with them. What I’ve found is that God will use whomever He needs in order to get our attention and often times this attention getter will come with reality checks and hard truths. We have to grow to recognize God’s convictions when we’re wrong and not always think someone is “judging or being judgmental” in your life or situation.

Conviction is one of the best gifts we can receive from God. The ability to recognize something isn’t right in our relationship with Him. To know and feel He is speaking or tugging on your hearts through someone else is an awesome and very rewarding blessing; if you’re able to recognize it and are willing to do something about it. Conviction builds character and obedience and this type of character can only be developed when we do what God wants us to whether we want to or not.

Recognizing God’s conviction is a true sign of growth in your life and shouldn’t be viewed as “he/she is judging me”. When God began to tug on uncomfortable issues in my life as hard as they were to address, I recognized them for the convictions they were and allowed myself to become obedient to what I was feeling. When I started doing what God was asking me to do I grew. I stopped being moved by how I was feeling, or by what other people thought and I started moving towards what I knew God was saying in my heart.

Truth is we need convicting messages. Let’s stop wearing our feelings on our sleeves and start responding to what we know God is truly saying to us. When you are a place where you are hearing from God or at least wanting to hear from Him, conviction is good. You look for it, and you accept it; but when you are not there conviction irritates you and makes you believe people are judging you.

Thank God for putting a spirit of conviction in you. I am so thankful I can recognize when I am doing something wrong and immediately respond to God’s correction. #Get Convicted#

STD's

Now I know someone may be thinking , why is he bringing up the issue of STD's. Well, the answer is simple. STD's are basically plaguing our society, and we must come up with a remedy to slow this monster down that is spiraling out of control and ruining the lives of many people. Ok, let me go ahead and cut the tension that is building from this post as I am not talking about the STD's that you are thinking about. I'm talking about "Socially Transmitted Disease", that corrupt the mind and the heart which lead you to do some crazy things. 

Here is a working list of some of those STD's

- Hate

- Lying

- Stealing

-Back Stabbing

- Dishonesty

-Lack of Respect

-Unforgiving 

The STD's above have plagued every single person reading this post but the one that is really running rampant in our society more than ever today, is gossip. Most dictionaries describe gossip as a rumor or talk of a personal, sensational, or intimate nature. More importantly, it describes the gossiper as a person who habitually spreads intimate or private rumors or facts.  

Now there are two sides to gossiping. First, you have the one spreading the gossip, and secondly, you have the one receiving the gossip. So the question becomes, are you spreading the gossip STD, or do you make yourself available to receive the gossip STD from others?

To be continued: What does God say about gossip? 

Happy Birthday Mason

Three years ago today Chris and I sat in a delivery room anticipating the birth of our second son, Mason Christopher. The moments and days after giving birth to a child are usually a time of celebration and things getting back to normal, but for us it was anything but that. It was fear, it was wait, and it was worry. For what was considered a normal pregnancy, a healthy delivery and a fresh beginning the next few months after his birth would be some of the toughest days of our lives. Mason Christopher born August3,2009 3:20pm weighing 8lbs 5oz 21 inches, has a hole in his heart, a severe case of juandice, and (Polydactyly) better known as " extra digits" a congenital hand anomaly in both his little hands. By 6 months old he underwent major surgery to remove the extra fingers, several cardiologist visits and became a ' blue light " spokesperson for juandis. Well today as I look at this healthy miracle I praise God for this child's life and the test He allowed our family to go through as He continued to show us who He is. I'll admit, three years ago I wasnt as thankful. I questioned God, I questioned my parenting, and I wanted answers. Three years later God has come back with a response, "You of little faith, "why did you doubt?" Matthew 14:31 Today is a reminder of how God will use so many things good and bad for a thousand different purposes. All for the purpose of us believing in Him no matter what it looks like. Today I encourage you to find purpose in every situation in your life. Happy Birthday Mason. Daddy & I are so inlove with you!

Welcome Back,Welcome Back, Welcome Back!

For about a month now I've had the opportunity to pull away from social media, phone calls, social settings and some of life greatest distractions.

During this time I have been able to hear God speak like nothing I've ever experienced before. Now before I continue let me explain something because if you are like me, a person who has heard other people say, " God said this or God spoke to me on that," then you too have wondered, " how do they know that its God?"

Well having fully experienced this now, let me explain... When God speaks to me its not a loud scary voice I hear saying
" Tasha this is God"; its not something that happends to me by conincident either, its so much more.
Its picking up my bible and reading a passage with understanding so clearly that it literally answers the questions I'd been asking. Its having a conversation with someone and they give you sound advice or information on the direct thing you needed before you even mention the need. Sometimes its just a thought that you know, that you know, that you know; has come directly and only from Him alone. Bottom line, its the moment you realize you've come in contact with God my friends what a moment it is.

So throughout the past weeks, I've been enjoying quiet time on my patio, before the Texas heat runs me back inside. Ive had lazy afternoons on the sofa reading and filling up on God, away from things that so often keep me from Him. Its been amazing .

In a society and culture filled with so many distractions of work, families, friends, social media, social clubs, relationships, children, activities, etc, it's so necessary to break away from it all in order to feel and hear from God.

But now that we have had our time away, Chris and I are refreshed, refilled and excited about sharing God with you. As we bring honesty, real life, and a hunger after God's heart, we pray you will journey with us as we continue to
 " Serve God with Purpose".

WELCOME BACK

Suffering- A Way Of Life

Suffering is a reality of life. It is something that everyone experiences, and sometimes for unknown reason. But in our suffering it is so important to allow God to be God as we go through instead of complaining, crying and wallowing in it.

 How we allow God to be God is by holding our heads up in the midst of how we really feel, we stop running around trying to fix our change our circumstances, we pray and thank God inspite of what things may look like. Romans 8:28 says, If God is in suffering, only good can come out of it; so he must have good reason for it.

I havent always been able to embrace struggle. There were times when I would try to fix or change every mishap or problem that came my way in life. But what I have learned is when we do this, we show view God when it comes to our lives. It proves to Him that we dont trust that He will take care of us, so we have to do it on our on.

Honestly, I can still freshly remember going through a situation recently where I wanted to do something about the problem in front of me. I was even plotting and planning, how I would do it and a still voice came to me and said, "when has doing it your way ever worked out anything" and as clear as I could hear this voice, I understood clearly that my battles are not my own. God truly wants to carry our loads. We just have to trust and beleive that He will.

We live in a world that believes only in what we see and experience but we have to remember that this world is also spiritual and satan is often allowed by God to test us and take us through things that can result in suffering. Knowing this should make us more prepared,  more armed and more ready when problems and issues arise. Because we know we are going to be tested we should constantly be praying for strength and endurance and when the test arrives be in prayer even more. We've got to stop asking God to take away the struggle and asking for strength to endure through it.

God will take us through things and sometimes allow us to go through things just so we come to realize none of the trivial (small) things we are concerned about are as important as getting to know Him.

When someone comes to you for advice or to share their struggle, be mindful that you dont get caught up in trying to explain their problems to them as if you know why they are going through. When people are struggling all they need from us is compassion, understanding, a listening ear and prayer.

Many times we cant explain why we go through things, so we definitely are not in position to explain someone else's problems. But what we can do is recommend a God who can explain and answer any problem, great or small. Keep your eyes on God, not your struggles.

“The steadfast of mind You will keep in perfect peace, Because he trusts in You. Isaiah 26:3

Its Okay To NOT Be Okay

For quite some time I have struggled on how and if I would ever share this story with anyone. I never really knew if I would have the strength or courage to reveal what I am about to say to my family, my friends or even my personal blog. It wasn’t until today, as I sat in church and heard Pastor Conway say, “It’s okay to NOT be okay, as long as you’re on your way to BEING okay, and at that moment I knew it was time. For several years now I have been “NOT OKAY” with some things in my life and it wasn’t until recently that I started being okay with the things about me that were “NOT OKAY”.

Have you ever woke up and looked in the mirror at yourself, only to see someone you did not recognize? A person that is so familiar but yet so unfamiliar staring you right in the face. Well 7 years ago after giving birth to my first son I became unrecognizable, to myself. Most people would say, “well its natural for your appearance to change after the birth of a baby”, and yes that is correct, lots of people’s bodies, and features change after giving birth to a child, but nothing I had ever seen on any woman could have prepared me for the person I would become shortly after giving birth.

Before my son was born, my husband and I agreed I would stay home with for a least the first year, this one year plan ended up becoming almost 2 before I actually went back into to workforce; but this is one chapter in my life that I am extremely grateful to have been able to write. During these few years my body and outer appearance took a toll on me that I never saw coming. In over a year I gained almost 50lbs of excess weight.

My husband and I got married in September of 2003, at the time I was 5 foot 2 inches weighing 120 lbs. Now I never expected to stay that size for the rest of my life, ( I didn’t want to)  but I also didn’t expect to ever become the size I currently was.

 For some time I was in denial about the weight. I lived 600 miles away from my home town so most the people who knew me before all the extra baggage, were miles and miles away so I didn’t really have to worry about anyone bringing  the weight to my attention until I traveled home which was only once or twice a year.

But the minute I would arrive there I was faced with comments, unsolicited advice and all sorts of opinions about my new size. I was embarrassed, to say the least. I was ashamed and many times hurt. I didn’t realize how much emphasis my previous appearance made on how people treated and reacted to me. Even on people I didn’t even know.

Before the weight gain, I could step out of a car and stop traffic not because I did anything to get the attention, but because for whatever reason, society and people put much attention and emphasis on thin people. After the weight gain I don’t recall even being glanced at except by my husband. It was through this journey God would use my weight for purposes I never knew exist.

Three years after carrying the extra weight I decided that if I was going to be a “big girl”, I would embrace it and work with what I had. So that is what I did. Although I hated the larger sizes, I embraced them and worked them as if I was still a size 2. I had to learn to love who ever I was, in the skin that I was in.

I would be lying if I said this task came easy. I can remember a time being home in Louisiana for a visit and I would still get the unwanted comments and opinions about the weight. But as I would prepare myself for this trip home I would pray and ask God to sustain me before I got there; because let me be clear, although I was uptight and embarrassed about the weight, underneath it all was still an attitude and mouth that could pop off in 0 to 90 secs if given a reason, and believe me I had reason. So as I visited my family back home God would literally give me physical strength and willpower to hold my tongue no matter what was said about the weight. But in the midst of God sustaining, He was also doing some revealing…..

As I prepared myself for whatever was to come, God began revealing the hearts, minds and truth inside of people I considered family and friends. He began to show me how outer appearances were much more important to these people than who I was on the inside. I started to pay attention to the people around me and how they treated me prior to the weight and after.  As I looked at them God begin to show me a part of myself. He started to reveal to me, my own vanity and self-centeredness through people who had now turned the tables on me. What I saw disgusted me but helped me to see a side of myself that I didnt like, but I definitely recognized.

Let me press rewind for a moment and bring you back to a petite young woman who married the man of her dreams almost 9 years ago. I am reminded of how she turned heads, and walked with a strut that coined her nick-name “runway queen”; and she dared anyone to tell her any different. She was very self involved, self-centered, a judge-mental young woman, and she was now beginning to show through all the people I now watched judging me.

So I started praying and asking God for forgiveness for treating people the way I had in the past. As I would pour my heart out to Him, I would explain to Him, how people now treated me and how horrible I felt for the people I had treated in the same manner. I wanted to see people’s hearts and not their appearances, just as I wanted them to see mine.

Throughout this revelation period, I saw God shifting a lot of things in my life, and while I thought this shifting was to reveal to me the hearts of others, I soon learned this process, including my weight gain struggles and the attitudes I had endured, were all a set up to reveal the person I was and the way my heart looked underneath my former size (2).

So I began making friends and acquaintances with people who were less attractive on purpose. I would literally scan a room and look for people who would be considered unlikely, by society views and I would intentionally seek true friendships with them. I didn’t want to see the outer of anyone; I needed to be friends with their heart.

After a few years of being pruned and gleaned, it was time to address my issues with my family. Once I addressed my heart issues with them, we were able to rebuild genuine relationships.  

Throughout this whole process the one constant I have not forgotten, is that Jesus could care-less what size we are, how much we weigh, or how pretty we look. All He wants is your heart; and if you’re heart isn’t in it, He doesn’t want it all.

Today I write to you a lot lighter, a lot slimmer and much healthier. Having struggled with this weight for over 7 years and never being able to seriously get rid of it, I have found that loosing the weight was never my issue, but loosing the vanity, self-centeredness and messed up heart was. When I allowed God to reveal the true me on the inside, and perform a heart transplant on who I really was; He began to shed the pounds off with little to no effort on my part. I tell you this story in awe of what God can do with those who give their entire lives to Him wholeheartedly. I am a true believer that God will use one situation for a thousand different purposes.  

I pray you will be encouraged by this, for whatever season of life you are currently in and realize that it is okay to NOT be okay, as long as your own your way to being okay.

#HeartCheck#